Friday, April 15, 2005

Rising Tides

As of Monday, I quit taking all medications. There just didn't seem to be any point to it anymore, other than self-abuse - which, for once, was not that attractive. I've been warned that it takes a couple weeks to start feeling better and a couple months to have the poison out of my system completely. This was some powerful juju I'd been faithfully injecting and ingesting over the past 27 weeks and it's not going to simply slink away overnight. I still am affected by all the built up side effects - except one: I no longer have an ongoing sense of dread about the next injection. Tonight will be the first Friday night since October 8 that I will not shoot up, and the first weekend where I won't be flat on my back. Bev and I might even venture out to buy some new plants for the deck. I had decided beforehand that I'd have to let my little gardening tract on the roof go for this year - but now I won't have to. Dare I claim it, recovery is beginning to feel real. I'm almost to the point of being able to trust that the rug won't be pulled out from under me again. Maybe I can even start breathing again. I'm willing to go slow - what choice do I have. Once more, I will have to practice patience. But not for too much longer. The tide has turned. Pretty soon it'll be time to start riding those waves - or at least getting my feet wet.

1 Comments:

Blogger David said...

Welcome back.

11:20 AM  

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