Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Mo Bettah

I feel better than I did yesterday, though no less confused about how to get through the rest of my treatment. I think I got so upset because I had finally reached the 24 week, half way point and nothing had really changed. All I got to do was go on to week 25 and more drugs. I was deflated. And angry. But I'm not sure who I am angry with. None of this is the doctor's fault, or the fault of the medication, or the harshness of the treatment. There's not some conspiracy out to get me. In truth, everybody wants me to get well and this protocol, as far as I know, is the only way to get there. My daughter tells me that the liver is the organ most associated with anger. I can believe it. And the fact that I've been infected with this disease for probably 30 years now might explain some of my past unreasonable rages. That and my own ego. But that's a story for another day, another blog. I am beginning to get a sense of some writing I want to do when I'm better able to concentrate. I feel like I'm restocking my material, and sharpening my perspective. See that, there are positives. One way or the other, I'll come out the other side of this. Then what?

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